A New Chapter

Nov 15, 2010

It's been awhile since I have blogged about pretty much anything.  To be honest, I really didn't know what to blog about.  The last six months (well, really the last year and a half) has been like a "choose your own adventure book".  Remember those?  If you want to enter into the pitch black dark cave, turn to page 87.  If you want to turn around and run, turn to page 98.  For the most part, I think life is somewhat like a "choose your own adventure" novel.  We reap the outcome of the choices we make, and sometimes (a lot of times for me) I quickly realize that maybe I picked the wrong adventure. 

Over the past year or so, I've learned a lot.  I've learned that if you pray for patience, brace yourself for the trials; because they will come...I promise you!  I love the (MSG) translation of Deuteronomy 31:6.  "Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." And you know what?  He won't.  He doesn't let you down when you fail miserably.  He doesn't turn away even when you push him away.  In the midst of my darkness, God was right there, waiting for me to turn to Him and put all of my trust in Him.  You see, I'm somewhat of a control freak.  I like to know what is going on, I need to know all the details and I like to know well in advance.  So when my life was rocked to the core, my first reaction was that I have this all under control, I can fix this!  Umm...wrong...again!  I'm still learning that I can't fix what isn't mine to fix.  I have to let go, hand it over to God, and stop relying on my own understanding, because quite frankly, look where my understanding has got me this far?  It has my marriage at rock bottom, on the verge of divorce and has me so far away from God, that it scares me.    

One thing I do know is that our God is a forgiving God.  No matter how many time I've totally blown it, He is always right there waiting for me to turn to Him.  Right there waiting for me to hand it all over and surrender.  I struggle daily with surrendering it all.  So as a new chapter of my life has begun, I know that the outcome will be catastrophic if I continue to walk alone in my adventures.  Instead of the Lord waiting on me...I should be handing it over and patiently wait on God's perfect timing. 

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait



I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait



I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
 

1 comments:

Michelle Trotter February 27, 2011  

Lots of hugs, sis! Wish I could visit more, but there is always the Internet!

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